Wives: How to be Happily Married
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her
sorry to see him leave. Martin Luther
- Most men are not unhappy with their marriages, but they don't
really enjoy their wives -- they are less than happily married.
- Men need to have a friend with whom they can let their hair down,
someone they can really trust. Too few men find that friend.
The Role of a Wife
- One of a man's deepest needs is to be respected.
- Your wife's duty is to submit to you, which is the ultimate
expression of respect.
- To yield to another person is impossible unless you respect them.
You can be forced to obey someone, but not to respect them.
- The goal of this instruction is not to reduce women to servants
and doormats, but to provide an authority structure in the marriage.
- Where is your wife on the submit/resist continuum? How is your
The Role of the Husband
- The Scriptural instruction to husbands is to love their wife.
- The kind of love Scripture directs us to is volitional rather than
emotional. We are to love our wives volitionally, as an act of the will
- Where would you place yourself on the love/hate continuum?
Four Types of Marriages
Most marriages which are still together but not working are Hate and
Submit or Love and Resist because one partner has decided to hang in
there and try to make things work.
- Love and Submit. Ozzie and Harriet
- Hate and Submit. The Bunkers
- Love and Resist. The Lockhorns
- Hate and Resist. J.R. and Sue Ellen Ewing
- The Love and Submit Marriage. I have known only a handful of men
whose marriages are really working.
- The Hate and Submit Marriage. This is the most common type of
marriage that is not working.
- The Love and Resist Marriage. The feminist movement has fueled
the Love and Resist marriage syndrome.
- Every marriage needs a balance between talking and listening.
- A thirty-day experiment: spend twenty minutes each day talking
with your wife.
Our marriages will work better if we apply, by mutual agreement with our
wives, the principle of 90-10, Both Ways.
How Do Marriages Get Into Trouble
- Most marriages tend to break down because the partners are
critical of each other.
- Power struggles over unyielded rights can doom a marriage.
- Our self-centeredness is the root problem.
- When it dawned on me that she wanted to be a teammate and not a
slave, I became angry -- both at her for not capitulating, and at myself
for being so foolish.
- No temptation causes more problems for men than sex.
- Our culture does not prize fidelity as one of its values.
- For a marriage to survive today, a man and his wife must be at
least as committed to the institution of marriage as they are to each
other as individuals.
Financial pressure is the greatest pressure on couples today.
Only through dialog can we be certain that we are being understood.
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