"I finally stopped messing around when I realized sex is no good unless there is a true trust and love involved. Without it, it's just not worth the hassle." Male college student quoted in Mademoiselle
"Very few lasting relationships are made in bed. Fantasies may begin and end there; true love does not." Dr. Harold Bessell, The Love Test, (William Morrow & Co., 1984) p. 28
"The intimacy in sex is never only physical. In a sexual relationship we may discover who we are in ways otherwise unavailable to us, and at the same time we allow our partner to see and know that individual. As we unveil our bodies, we also disclose our persons." Dr. Thomas Moore, "Soul Mates," Psychology Today, (Mar/Apr 1994), pp. 28, 29
"You just can't tell people itıs all right to do whatever you want as long as you wear a condom. It's just too dangerous to say that." Dr. Harold Jaffe of the Center for Disease Control (CDC)
"Based on my fifteen years as a practicing Masters and Johnson-trained therapist, I have put together a book which...has a revolutionary premise of its own: that lifelong committed sex has the potential to be more thrilling, more varied, more satisfying in every way than any other sexual arrangement you can think of." Dagmar OıConnor, How to Make Love to the Same Person for the Rest of your Life, (Bantam Books, 1985), Introduction
"When you put sex early in a relationship, you make courtship* and dating a much more vulnerable process. Most women tell me that they become emotionally attached when they take a lover. Emotional attachment makes you vulnerable...and because sex doesn't give men an automatic emotional attachment... It may come as a shock when she finds out the bond is not shared." Judith Sills, Ph.D. A clinical psychologist in Philadelphia, quoted in Women's Encyclopedia of Heath & Emotional Healing, (Emmaus, PA: Rodale Press, Inc., 1993) p. 128.
*Dating is the 20th century term for the old word courting which means by one definition "to pursue or cultivate a relationship with." Historically, the objective of dating was not to find a mate but rather to get to know another and to practice and cultivate relationship skills that would later be required in a permanent marriage relationship.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." I Corinthians 13:4-8 (from the Bible)
"Sex just confuses things...we had great sex, but we never learned how to talk out our problems...we always turned to a physical solution and things eventually blew up in our faces." anonymous coed
"A common complaint I hear as I travel and speak on college campuses is that after a while dating gets boring, old hat, predictable, stagnant. When that happens communication and discovery stop and the relationship begins to die a slow death." Marajen Denman, traveling lecturer and communications consultant