"Many, many people confuse sex with true love. Sex attracts, but physical attraction alone cannot bind two people happily together for very long. Sex is very intimate at the physical level, but there may not be much personal or emotional depth involved." Harold Bessell, Ph.D., The Love Test (New York, NY: William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1984), p.21"When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion--through the fact that for that someone we take an extra step or walk an extra mile. Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful." M. Scott Peck, Challenge of the Heart (Boston: Shambhala Pub., 1985)
On Love:
"[Look at what]...you know from your own experience and from watching the lives of your friends, and not by ideas you have derived from novels and films." C.S. Lewis, author"The lovers in...popular novel[s] never discuss the risk of disease or pregnancy. People who want to, have sex--of course! The fantasy of sexual freedom sells products, and it sells films, books, and movies. How do you protect yourself from sexual problems in the face of this kind of propaganda?" Clinical psychologist and professor Elizabeth Powell, Talking Back to Sexual Pressure (CompCare, 1991), p. 57
"We need to rethink what it means to be a man. A real man can use his brain and not always his body.... Men are truly among the brainwashed. They are not only brainwashed to assume that they can't turn down sex, but they are brainwashed to believe they have no self-control." Elizabeth Powell, ibid., p. 66
"A respectful person listens to you and cares about your feelings. Anyone who would reject you just because you don't take care of his or her sexual needs is making a totally self-centered statement." Elizabeth Powell, ibid., p. 74
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4 (from the Bible)
"Many girls have sex for non-sexual reasons and do whatever the boy wants because they want the boy." The Complete Guide to Safer Sex, p. 132
"Early love is when you love the way the other person makes you feel. Mature love is when you love the person as he or she is. It is the difference between passionate and compassionate love. It's Bon Jovi vs. Beethoven." Psychiatrist Mark Goulston, "The Right Chemistry", Time, (February 15, 1994)
A Letter to Dear Abby
I am a 23-year-old woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting pretty expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. Abigail Van Buren, The Best of Dear Abby (New York: Andrews and McMeel, 1981)